Plans ❤

I was being approached by my PE teacher. He asked me something that I couldn't answer at all . He ask me whether I'm willing to convert after marriage and will I be able to follow their rules . My answer is I'm not sure , I was hesitating. He told me , if we were planning to get married at the end .. Then it's time to work things out . I ever ask him , but he told me that he wasn't ready . Planning wasn't there . Many things to work out . I was thinking whether we will be able to go through all the up and down ? Growing up and settle things by yourself wasn't easy . I don't know . I really feel insecure , I don't know what will happen in the end . He is always lack of planning , will things even solved? I don't know .. Everyday , it's like bringing me closer to future but without any planning . It's just like wasting my time without doing anything . It's sad . I don't know how to deal with problems . It's been quite some time , I hadn't cried . Today is the day I cried again .
Loving someone is so difficult .
Marriage is not just between me and you but with my family , your family including your two brother in laws .. Relationship is so complicated . Yes I'm sad . I'm lost .. I feel lonely . Cause yes I'm alone . Nobody can understand my loneliness .

Living' wasn't as easy as I thought .
Especially , when you felt left out )':